The Coldness
by Mr.Superfanfic
Summary: For some time now, Sakura Haruno has been cold, not physically but emotionally because the one person that meant the world to her left, wanting nothing to do with her. Will Sakura be able to move on alone or will she fight for the one person she loves.
1. Prologue

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO. IF I DID, OH IF I DID, THE STUFF THAT WOULD HAPPEN (hehe), but someone else does, someone who i dont remember or kno how to spell their name, but i dont.

A/N#1: this is my first fanfic on ffnet, so no flames plz, i got enough when i posted it on affnet.  
SO, I hope u in enjoy, I'm giving no spoilers as the synopsis gave most of it away.

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Prologue

Cold. So very cold. For the longest time now I feel cold. I used to be warm; I used to have a burning flame that kept me going. Over time it got smaller, until, well, now. Why did _he_ have to leave,_ he_ caused me to feel this cold.

When _he_ left me, it seemed all my happiness went with him. I tried to get over it, but as much as it seemed I could, that i would, I was always brought back to thinking about _him_ and how much _he_ meant to me. _He_ never saw that, after all the hints I gave _him_, never did it get through.

Maybe I was going at it the wrong way, maybe I didn't try hard enough. Maybe I even failed? I failed? NO, it wasn't me, it was all _his_ fault. But still, _he_ had other things to worry about.

I wish _he _would come back to me; I need the warmth, but _he _not going to. _He _long forgot about me the way I want_ him_ to remember me. I wish I could go back, go back to when I had a true chance, maybe I wouldn't be so cold if I did it right the first time.

BUT NO! The damn bastard left me..........._he_ didn't give a damn about me. I gotta stop thinking about _him_; all I do is feel cold. But _he_ is all I think about now, the "what if" and "could have been". I really wish_ he_ hadn't left me; I need _him_ more than ever.

All my friends try to be there for me, but nothing seems to work. Even my shissou tries to be there for me, but nothing can lift me up. It saddens me more that _he_ had and still has such an effect on me, that_ he _brought me so much joy and that now, nothing. _He_ was the only thing that kept me going.

But I have lost _him_ forever it seems. I guess my way at getting through to _him_ was too much, that I totally pushed _him_ away from me. When _he_ left to better himself, I though maybe when _he_ came back I would have a new shot, but it seems _he_ was further away than I thought.

I hate what _his_ teacher put _him_ through cause it only ruined my chances at happiness. Everything _his_ teacher taught _him_ pushed _him_ away from me where all my chances would be hopeless. I guess I was never meant to be happy cause i just cant seem to be able to put my arms around it. I would love to be able to put my arms around _him_ one last time, but I could never, would never.

I guess _he's_ happier now, that I'm not there all the time bugging _him_ and getting in _his_ way. Now _he_ can do what _he_ feels, without the watchful eyes of others, and my eyes......

If _he_ did come back to me, I would never let _him_ go; I would make sure _he_ would never leave. Not by force, but I'd show _him_ what _he_ truly meant to me. But I'm just going back into the "what if" category, which seems to never come true.

So I guess I did screw up after all. I guess I should take the blame; I can't get anymore depressed than I already am. I really thought he cared for me. I guess it was all just all lie. Cause here I am thinking about _him_, again.......and again........and again. No one can get me outta this rut but _him_, so I guess I'm doomed to die alone and unhappy. Isn't life great?!?!

The big question I have yet to answer myself is what do I do now? I have no where to go to, nothing to look forward on, I have no one to help guide me through the times I need more then just a friend. But when _he_ left, _he_ took all my hopes and dreams and everything. I hope _he_ is happy with _his_ decision of leaving me, seems I get some little bit of happiness from _his_.

So, now I guess I do nothing. Got nothing to do anyways, no missions, no girls-night-out, nothing. I really wish _you _would come back to me.

_Naruto_

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A/N#2: so, comment if u have not read this story on AFF, and if u have, comment again cause i changed the wording a bit. Im leaving u guys with a little work to do. In ur review, if u do so, i want you readers to tell me what u thinks going on with the current situation between naruto and sakura and it has to be specific, no "naruto turned away sakura", no shit, everyone is thinging that, but come up with a senario (in 200words or less) about what happened. The winner will have his review posted with the next chap and will be the first on my awards/honor section on my profile. So good luck.  
out.


	2. Flashbacks Hurt

Disclaimer: Sadly i dont own Naruto, if i did..... ^_^..... but i dont, so there.

A/N#1: Sorry, i had to work very hard to not only fix errors but i had to reformat it too. I'm gonna write it novel style, no more then one person talking in any paragraph. Um, just so u know, i will be keeping Inner Sakura from Aff . So, heres the first OFFICIAL chapter as the last on was a prologue. I also decide that instead of having this one huge 28-30 chapter story, im gonna break it up into "books" (i only quote cause they are to short to be called books) of 10-11 chaps each, depending on how i do so, so if u have me down as alert on story, might wanna put me on alert on author too so u guys know when i add a new story and shit....god this is a long A/N, im also gonna announce the winner at the bottom (srry, i didn't see how much i wrote), ty for ur reviews(only 5) and i praise all those who tried to guess (only 3). I give you the true chapter 1:

Formatting:  
"Talking" ex: "Hi Naruto, how are you."  
**Inner Sakura** ex: **God is he hot **(all she does is talk to sakura)  
_Sakura's Thoughts _ex: _He is not, Sasuke is!!!_  
*Flashback*  
And Sakura stood there, thinking of Naruto and not Sasuke  
*End Flashback* (that was the example)

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**Chapter 1: Flashbacks Hurt  
**

_Kami, mornings suck. I hate waking up this early, but Tsunade-shissou and the hospital need me. _Sakura got up from her bed, releasing her pillow from her deathly grip. It made a little poof sound as it inflated back to its original fluffiness. _Sorry pillow, but it seems I have no one else but you_. She sighed to herself. She stripped completely as she made her way into her shower. Memories started to run through her head as she turned the water on. Thank kami she was in the shower, her neighbor would have her cry from reliving them.

*Start Flashback*  
"I'm sorry Sakura, but I've just................given up, my love for you died a while ago, since I can't seem to any it from you, I had to look around and I found it else where."  
*End Flashback*

Given up, that's what he had said and what he had did, given up on them. But really, it wasn't them, it was her, he gave up on her. That's what had hurt the most. **Pull yourself together, its done, its over, forget him. **_How can I, he was everything to me? _**Simple, find SOMEONE else. **_But I don't think I can....._**Your Sakura Haruno, you can do anything if you put your mind to it. **_If that's true, then why don't I have him here with me. _**Touché. **Sakura turned the shower off and just stood there while water dripped off her cold body. **You're gonna be late for work, go get ready. **Sakura heeded her inner self and after drying off and putting on her medical outfit she headed out the door. _Let's hope I don't run into him again._

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"Sakura, I need 150mg of anesthetic stat," Tsunade screamed out. Sakura ran over to the cabinet pulling out a vial of what she though was anesthetic. Tsunade grabbed it, looked at it, and then gave it back to Sakura, leaving the pinky confused. "This is Coumadin, a coagulant. Do you want him to die from a blood clot?"

"No Tsunade-shissou.... I'm sorry." Sakura apology was sincere in every way possible. But that had been the fourth mistake today, the twelfth this week. Tsunade looked at her apprentice with a half concerned, half furious look that made Sakura shake in her boots. _Shit, I'm gonna get sent home._

"YOU ARE SORRY, YOU COULD HAVE KILLED THIS MAN!!!" Tsunade yelled at her apprentice. "Shizune, go get the anesthetic. Sakura you go home. NOW!" Tsunade finished as she pointed towards the door.

"Yes Tsunade-shissou," Sakura sighed as she headed for the door. **What a fuckin bitch, doesn't she realize how much hurt you're in. **_Don't talk about my shissou like that, I messed up, you have no right to say that. _**She's my shissou too, remember.**_ Shut up. _**Fine.**_ S_akura continued to argue with her inner self as she made her way to her locker in the women's locker room. After pulling out and changing into her regular clothes, she continued her assault. _You know, you're the reason I don't have him now, you are too aggressive. _**I'm aggressive, I am you, HELLO!!!**_ SHUT UP! _Sakura, out of anger, punched her locker creating a dent and snapping it off its hinges. Everyone in the locker room turned around to see what had happened and found a embarrassed kunochi. "Shit," she whispered to herself.

_If only I didn't have to go home with you. _**HEY?!?!?!? **Sakura "fixed" the locker door and proceeded to leave the hospital and head home. _But I'd still rather go home with you then have to meet up with............WHY NOW??? _**Cause destiny hates you.**_ SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!!!_

Further ahead of Sakura was a blond shinobi with sparkling blue eyes and very spiky hair walking towards the direction she just came from. The shinobi, known as Naruto, had matured from the childish prankster he used to be to the man that Sakura adored. He had grown both physically and mental due to his sensei and his own brutal training. He had breezed through the ranks, and was now a jounin like the rest of the rookie nine. He had break taking, jaw dropping, hot as fuck body, in Sakura's opinion and the skills to match. Hell, he was even smarter. Sadly, none of that belong to her.

*Start Flashback*  
"What do you mean you found it else where," Sakura cried out, tears pouring down her face. He just looked at her like he didn't really care. "Why did you give up when I was right here in front of you, after all these years your still blind to what's in front of you." _How can you be so blind? How?  
_*End Flashback*

"Hey Sakura, you there, hello?" Naruto was staring at Sakura with a quizzical look trying to figure out why she had just blanked. Unknown to him she was in the middle of relieving her memories again. "Is something wrong???"

Sakura, now realizing that Naruto was infront of her, froze for a bit. _Yeah, you're not holding me in you're arms at night and telling me how much you love me_. After a second of thought, she finally replied, "nah, I was just thinking, didn't even realize you where there. What's up?" Sakura gave him a fake smile trying to hold back the newly developing tears from her memories.

"I was about to ask you the same thing, aren't you supposed to be working right about now?" Naruto asked her with what kinda was a concerned look. It wasn't the concerned boyfriend look that Sakura has hoped for, it was just a friend to friend concerned look.

**The bitch Tsunade kicked her out.**"I almost killed a patient today by almost giving the wrong drug, so Tsunade-shissou sent me home. Don't know why but I just can't think straight nowadays," she sighed.

Naruto knew why she wasn't thinking straight, but that chapter of his life was done. "Oh, that....sucks....hey, at least you get the rest of the day off. Wanna go hang out?" Naruto asked trying to lift his friend's spirit. _He want to hang out with me, YES, maybe he really is coming back to me. _"Everyone gonna be there, like old times. **Kami you have no luck at all.**_ This is the last time I'm gonna tell you, shut the hell up unless I speak to you._

"So," Sakura said her mood changing back to her now usual depressed state, "when and where?" _Cause if I can get you alone maybe I can correct the wrongs I made. _**And you call me a pervert.**_ I wasn't thinking like that and that proves why I call you one. _**Honestly thought, i doubt you even gonna have a chance to get anywhere alone with him, he's always with her.**

*Start Flashback*  
He looked at her with a blank stare, "I guess I am blind, but I'm happy with Hinata, she's never pushed me away." He just stood there and after a moment a tear ran down his almost, if not, flawless face. "I'm sorry, but I'm done chasing you, I'm... just... done...." With that he turned away and left, leaving Sakura there to cry, alone. He was really finished.  
*End Flashback*

**If you really want to tell him, tell him now cause this may be the only chance alone with him you may ever get_._****Also, you might want to not look so depressed, pick yourself up, at least he is talking to you again. Use this as an opportunity to get close to him again, the RIGHT way this time. **Sakura felt a tad better at her inner selfs advice and evidentially felt a little less depressed._ You're right, thanks. _**No prob.**

"Sakura, are you sure your okay?" Naruto asked as once again Sakura got caught up in her thoughts instead of the world around her. He put his hand on her forehead which made Sakura freeze in place. **DON'T FREEZE UP, COME ON, TELL HIM, YOUR SO CLOSE.**"You don't have a fever, so I guess your fine, it's at the bar over near Ichiraku's, if i recal its the Anohok Bar. I'll catch you there then. I have a few errands to run. Bye." Naruto waved at his pink haired friend and started to leave.

**Here's your chance, tell him how you feel**"Na-ru-to?" Sakura asked with a slight stutter. **That's it, you can do it. **Naruto turned around to face Sakura and gave his full attention to the kunochi. **I know you can do it, come on, just say it.** "What time are we all meeting, you only said where we are meeting not when?" **What the fucking hell is wrong with you, why did you chicken out.**

"Five, we plan on being there around five," Naruto said as he waved goodbye again and went on his merry way. _This is gonna be a lot harder then I thought. _**No shit Sherlock, if you don't tell him then I will.**_ Um, if you don't realize, I have full control over me. _**Hun, if you did, he would be yours, I'm just naturally aggressive and you know it, hehe.**_ I know, sadly I know. _Sakura sighed as she made her home to get somewhat dressed up for her night-out. Hopefully, things wouldn't get too outta hand.

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A/N#2: So, comments, opinions, questions, mild-flames, you kno what to do with them, ITS CALLED A REVIEW. Um, i plan on getting the next chapter out asap, and no it wont take as long as this one, i just got lost on the road of life, thats all. OH SHIT, the winner of the "Guess what Naruto did to cause Sakura to be depressed is:

*DRUM ROLL*

*MORE DRUM ROLL*

*IM A FUCK WITH THE DRUM ROLL*

ANONYMOO....  
It wasnt the direct answer i was looking for, but it was the closest. I will be making a section on my page called Contest winners and you will be the first one th list.

Okay, finishing up.. If u read the flashbacks(and just the flashbacks)they tell a tale of its own, the scene that caused Sakura to be depressed and the reason why Naruto doesnt love her anymore. UM, next chapter, expect alot of drinking, dancing, and maybe a pairing change, idk, anything can happen at a bar. JaNe.


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